My Conscious Awakening
It was in 2010 that I had the greatest and most profound conscious awakening of my life. It changed who I am as a person, my perception of life, and gave me clarity as to my purpose on this planet.
I was at the height of my athletic career as a world fitness champion, sponsored athlete, editorial manager and writer for Status Fitness Magazine, performer in the film industry, and an active personal trainer and yoga teacher in Vancouver, BC.
That year I was deeply affected by drug addiction, terminal cancer, mental illness, trauma and suffering. It was not my own but consuming those very close to me. I had 4 friends that were all deeply suffering and dying.
It was the loss of a life long friend to drugs and the diagnosis of lung cancer in my 34 year old girlfriend, that turned my world upside down.
My girlfriend and I looked very similar, 5’4, blonde hair, blue eyes, and athletic physiques. We worked together in film.
I had always admired her outgoing vibrant personality, I felt she put herself out there and was way more spontaneous and courageous than myself. I often felt timid, shy and fearful.
During the months that preceded her diagnosis, I would attend chemotherapy and radiation treatments with her. I witnessed the rapid deterioration of her body and nerve function.
After the lung cancer diagnosis she then developed two brain tumors.
In witnessing my girlfriend’s physical deterioration, I felt a tremendous sense of grief and shame for how I had been taking my own health and physicality for granted for years, being critical, judgmental and extremely hard on myself.
I quickly began to realize what a gift it is to have independence and the ability to take care of yourself, have all of your working limbs and the ability to breathe unassisted. I realized that outside of my physical body, my identity with my job and how I was showing up in the world, that I wasn’t really clear who I was just as a human being. I spoke to my girlfriend two days before her brain surgery and she was actually excited.
I asked her how it was possible that she was so calm before having such a serious surgery. She said she had done three Emotional Freedom Tapping sessions, and they completely removed her fear about the surgery.
My friend then asked me what I would do if I only had 2 years to live.
I told her I would go Cambodia, India, Bali, and Thailand. I would go to the places I felt supported and encouraged mental, emotional and physical healing, meditation and spiritual growth. It became clear to me then that I needed to make a huge shift in my focus and life.
It was time for me to understand what was going on on the inside.
I wanted to understand what was causing illness, disease and addiction in my friends and judgment, anger and self-doubt in me. That conversation and experience, witnessing such intimate suffering, was the beginning of my quest to seek alternative healing practices which then developed into my Conscious Movement Therapy. This would encompass my signature brand of integrative and spiritual healing practices. I set out on a quest to travel the world and learn the best techniques and therapies for self transformation.
I became super interested in understanding suicide, addiction, depression, mental illness, loss, death and mental suffering. I spent years working on myself with different healing modalities, therapies and techniques.
Now I use what I have learned to help people who suffer with PTSD, addiction, loss of confidence, mental illness, weight issues, sexual abuse, emotional pain and trauma complimentary to traditional forms of treatment.